Have you ever set out into the kitchen with all kinds of good intentions thinking to yourself, hey I can make 12 miniature pies in my muffin tin for a good little dessert it can't be that hard? Only to find out that it is a heck of a lot harder that it should be? Has that ever happened to you? No? Am I the only one out there that seems to screw up pastry with a scary sense of ease? It's pastry. Not rocket science! Turns out, I can screw pastry up. Even following the recipe perfectly. I have NO idea how I can screw something so simple up. It's mind boggling. I can make cakes and cookies like a pro but give me pastry and it seems to be hit and miss.
With more misses in my pastry belt.
So what was wrong with my pastry? It was crumbly. Even with the allotted amount of liquid added to it, the blasted stuff was still crumbling. Put it into the fridge thinking that would help. Idiot. Try blending in more liquid. MEGA idiot. Turns out if you cannot make it perfect the first time it turns into a weird slimy goopy mess. I'm sure a slug could have slid off of the mess I tried to call pastry.
I wasn't happy. I took the offending mess and threw it all into the garbage with a satisfying thud. Take that you piece of goop. I hope you have a GREAT time being eaten by birds you horrible crap.
Can you tell that kitchen failure really grinds my gears?
Plus side is, the same day I made terrible pastry a friend gave me this amazing pizza dough recipe that was SO easy and turned out just perfect! Now that is a recipe I was impressed and proud of. Because pizza dough and I have an even worse history then pastry dough!
So, moral of this blog post?
I hate pastry.
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